FAITH QUESTIONS

God, are you there?

Q. I feel far from God right now. I pray and hear nothing. How do I know he's listening? I'm afraid I'm missing his answers or that he's not hearing me.

A. You're not alone. Almost every Christian feels this way sometimes. Read Psalm 22:1-2. King David, who certainly knew God, wrote: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? … I cry out by day, but you do not answer" (NIV). We often feel God is distant or disconnected. Even Jesus felt this way—and quoted this Psalm—when he was on the cross. But despite how you feel, God hasn't gone anywhere. He created you, and he loves you so much that he made arrangements for you to live with him forever (Romans 8:32). Since God is so deeply committed to you, he's not going to walk away from you. In fact, he's watching over you. Right here.  Right now. God wants you to keep looking for him by praying, reading his Word and living out your faith. "Come and pray to me, and I will listen to you," God says. "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart" (Jeremiah 29:12-13, NIV).

Secret Relationship

Q. I'm 16 and I've been dating a great Christian guy for several months. I admire him a lot. He's very moral and wants to keep God as the focus of our relationship. The problem is that our parents don't know.

A. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but you need to break up. Today!  I don't doubt that you and your boyfriend have good intentions, but lying to your parents and breaking their rules is a really bad idea. If you really want God to be the focus of your relationship, you can't ignore what he says about honoring your parents (Exodus 20:12) and being truthful (Ephesians 4:25).

I Like Romance, but does it pollute my thoughts?

Q. I like to read romance novels. But a lot of the novels I read have brief scenes where the characters have sex. They usually end up getting married, or they're already married. I know we're supposed to keep our thoughts pure and that we're not supposed to have sex unless we're married. But is it wrong to read about people having sex?

A. Before I answer your question, I want you to answer a few for yourself: What is it about these novels that you like? Is it the storylines? The romance? The sex? Maybe a little of all three? Answering these questions honestly may show you exactly what you need to do. You're right when you say we should keep our thoughts pure. Philippians 4:8 says, "You'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse" .  This is difficult to do when we intentionally look at or read about sex. I'd also encourage you to consider a healthy alternative. There are a ton of Christian romance novels that will offer you rich characters and intriguing plots without sex scenes. Head to your local Christian bookstore or check out christianbook.com and look for authors like Lori Wick or Karen Kingsbury. Or ask a librarian if your local library carries Christian romance novels. There are all kinds of positive options available. One more thing: Romance novels, even those from a Christian perspective, can have an unintended result. They can cause you to believe that real love will be a big, sweeping, carried-away feeling.